Good things about breaking your clavicle:
1. Nearly impossible to get run over by a bus while immobilized at home.
2. ummm… can’t think of anything else
Bad things about breaking your clavicle
1. Lots and lots of pain. Breathing hurts. Blinking hurts. Thinking hurts. Not even moving hurts. Moving causes REDICULOUS pain.
2. Can’t lie down; must sleep in a chair for weeks and weeks
3. Miss two weeks of work at the most inopportune time. Must return to work sooner than you are able to out of fear of losing your job.
4. Finding out that you did not opt for short term disability coverage on your health insurance plan.
5. Placing the burden of every single thing in your life on your wife, without the ability to help her do even the simplest of tasks.
6. Trying to do anything with only one arm/hand.
7. Unable to shower. Giving yourself a sponge bath is ineffective because it hurts so much to even make small movements
8. Unable to interact with your children for fear they will hurt you (three boys do not understand calm, even if they try their best)
9. Unable to use deodorant. Axe men’s body spray only goes so far to make you smell better
10. Being in a sling makes your hand and fingers swell up and ache, also to go numb and tingle.
11. Being forced to watch tv for hours on end. Everything on tv is total crap. Cooking and remodeling shows are somewhat bearable.
12. Putting on socks is nearly impossible. Can’t tie your shoes.
13. Having to take liquid calcium supplements that taste bad.
14. Not being able to complete the editing of a wedding, a family portrait session, a high school senior photo session and having disappointed/frustrated clients.
15. Unable to get comfortable, not sleeping well all night because of it. Finally get to sleep, only to have the alarm go off. Sit there for a couple of minutes and realize nothing hurts, everything is comfortable, but have to ruin it by getting up to get the kids ready for school.
16. Having clients call to schedule photo sessions and not be able to accommodate them at the height of Family Holiday Photo season.
17. Unable to edit two different industrial training video projects, and create 150 DVD’s for the clients.
18. Can’t button my Levi’s.
19. After a week or so in a sling (non-stop) your skin on your arm/hand starts to itch. After scratching it (causing much pain in your broken clavicle) the skin hurts and burns. Trying to get a wet washcloth inside the sling to try to keep your skin healthy is difficult and very painful. Applying Neosporin or lotion to your now unhealthy skin is difficult and hurts.
20. Your tailbone feels like it is on fire after sitting in/sleeping in a leather recliner for days on end.
21. Venturing out to church, and being TERRIFIED of somebody greeting you warmly with a hug or a friendly slap on the back.
22. Watching your wife carry groceries into the house and being unable to help.
23. Going anywhere and being TERRIFIED that someone might bump into you.
24. Finding out roads you thought were smooth actually have TERROR inflicting bumps in them. Roads you knew were bumpy cause you immense pain beyond belief.
25. Having to spend Christmas money when things are already tight on medical bills.
26. I could think of a million more things… I give up for now.
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