I’m not a coffee snob!

Owning a coffee shop that serves really great coffee and high quality products does not automatically make you a coffee snob. I spent twelve years in the US Navy, drinking some of the worst coffee on the planet! It came in big 5 gallon metal tins, painted an army green color. They looked like they were surplus coffee stores from WW1… When a new five gallon tin was opened, the first pot or two of java was almost as good as a cup of Folgers Crystals - - - nearly, but not quite. After that, it was all downhill. The canisters did not re-seal, so the remaining bazillion pounds of coffee would be exposed to the atmosphere until it was gone. It was dry to start with, and would become so dry that it should have been a fire hazard. It was like making coffee with old, shredded tree bark. And let me tell you, the “atmosphere” on a submarine was not the kind of air you want your lungs basking in, let alone your coffee… We used a chemical called mono-ethanol-amine in the CO2 scrubbers. It was essential to convert CO2 into Oxygen (which really helps with that whole staying-alive-thing), but it would permeate the atmosphere. Your body acclimates to the smells of a submarine, to where you don’t even notice them anymore. However, you could taste the MEA in the coffee, because the open canister would soak it all up, along with the diesel fuel smells, probably lots of sweat and body odor, and lots of other not-so-inviting smells on a submarine. So, short story long, I know how to drink crummy coffee…
Fast forward to modern times, and I’ve had lots of bad coffee. I can drink McDonald’s Iced Coffee with vanilla (however, their espresso drinks are horrible and rely solely on sugar and whipped cream to have any appeal to the masses), office coffee, restaurant coffee, etc… There is lots of bad coffee out there, just waiting for us. Tracy and I were daring enough to try the new iced coffee at 7-11 the other day. We were there with our three boys, along with a few other neighborhood kids, to get Slurpees after a hike in Palmer Park. We filled a cup with ice, and then filled it with their ‘iced coffee’ concoction. It was a little thick and syrupy, but we were willing to try it with open minds. Well, one little tiny sip later, we closed our minds quickly, and very tightly… Our minds and our mouths slammed shut and had to be pried open again with a weed whacker… That stuff was horrid!!! It was like putting a cup of flavored Coffee Mate liquid stuff over ice. COMPLETELY NASTY. So, I’m not a coffee snob, but I do have standards – very low, but still, there has to be a stopping point. We didn’t have access to an ingredient list, but I’ll bet it was mostly high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors.
If you find yourself at 7-11 and the new iced coffee catches your attention, you will be better off going up front and asking someone to slam your fingers in the door… You will enjoy that more than the iced coffee…